hamomelette's blog

How to say Love?

DSC01547

What etched in my mind from the camp:
If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.
Do not base your relationships solely on feelings for they change with time.

And
God loves me. I want to learn how to love Him.

I was struck by the feelings part. What a reminder to me, I rely greatly on my own feelings in relating to people. I'll be more cautious.

Nah, it's not about letting go.
I didn't even love.
I don't know how to.

So, I'm going to learn (:

原谅我

原谅我的沉默
因为我学不会 在想哭的时候笑

(:

DSC00594

Had a good time this evening talking with Char over tea, cakes and dinner (:
I'm selfish when I want to be happy, it's ok girl.
As long as no harm is done, as long as you feel better.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Osle chalet was good last week. Was totally drained at the end of it cos I didn't really sleep. I'm glad I stayed for 2 nights though, cos I went to work in the mornings. It wasn't easy to get together after the trip. And animal! :D <3

Lastly,

Age considers; youth ventures.
-Tagore.

That's what I'm going to do.

go go go~

DSC00627

I got hesitant.
I started to doubt what I wanted,
However, deep down I know that I'll still choose to go for it.

Just go!

I shall grab on to this courage of mine which I've been holding on for so long and go ahead.
I will not cower.

今天 听了一些话，
想了一些未知的事。
的确，不能肯定的未来着实的让我胆怯。
的确，翱翔的孤独让我犹豫了。。

但只要我手中仍握着这一丝丝的勇气，
我决不退缩！

争取吧，孩子！
先努力了再说:)

insignificant

DSC01499

And the truth was so glaring.

"We read the world wrong and say that it deceives us."
“我们把世界看错了，反说它欺骗我们”
-Tagore (Stray Birds)

This is one of my favorite quotes from Tagore.
There are so many things happening around me or rather, in life.

For one, I was disappointed.
Is that all? Is your love that easily swayed? Is the foundation that vulnerable? If it's so easily swayed then, is that true love? Did you, really love her? I couldn't believe it. I thought you were someone who knew clearly what you were doing and what you wanted. Though I'm in no position to judge,I can't help feeling disappointed.

It must have hurt alot.
When the image in your eyes changed from her to another girl, right in front of her.

所以，我一直都看错了你的世界。

incohe rent

呆子！我又何尝不是？

When I truly smile..
I enjoyed the night just crapping away.
I was being myself:)

Maybe maybe..
Not so..
Do you know? You don't have to.
There are so many things you don't have to know.
You don't have to know how much I've grown, how much I've changed.
As I've always told myself,
there are some things that are to be buried forever.

Thinking of that makes me smile.

I'm happy today:) I just feel very thankful that I got to do something I always wanted, to enjoy my life. I've no idea why I'm so happy, perhaps it's because of the freedom, perhaps it's because I followed my heart.

And maybe, who knows, I'll never make it to the mysterious story.

Do you think so?

I'll do what it takes for me to smile.

Quote of the day: You should invest in a vest :D

the change

微笑的鱼（带字幕） A Fish with A Smile(With Chinese Subtitle)

我看見一隻魚　一隻平凡無奇被困我家魚缸中的小魚

他搖著尾巴依然帶著微笑的表情
他的微笑忽然讓我感到憂傷
我無法擁有這隻魚

有些故事讓別人去傳唱
有些故事讓自己去感想
等我安安靜靜的回到自己的心臟
才看到你自由的慾望 也是自己的隱藏

有些故事已深刻在天堂
有些故事已模糊在遠方
等到你洋洋灑灑回到該去的路上
才理解我內心的渴望 終於長出了翅膀

所以我微笑 所以我飛翔
於是我活進了你自己
當時間都掛在沉睡的灰牆
我在廣大的海洋為自己鼓掌
當宇宙都泡在寧靜的魚缸
我在星星面前快活的流浪

今日的嚮往開成明日的花
明日的迷惘帶來回憶的光

--------------------------------------------------


我好想好想在夜深人静的时候散步。。
我才发现，我有多么想念自己或跟朋友漫无目的的在公园或城市的马路旁散步。

This few days I've been thinking about the choices I made, that shaped my life as it is today. 12 years ago when I was in primary one, I asked my mum groggily on the first day of school: Ma, how many more days do I have to study? And now, I'm at the end of the journey. It wasn't days, it took years. Everything seemed so near yet kind of blur.

The turn in my education journey was when I decided to go to jc and take up subjects which I've not come across before. Over time, people have asked me why I take up chinese lit, it seems so weird to others. To me the answer was simple: I like chinese. To me, liking something gives me enough reason to pursue it, why ask about big dreams and goals? Isn't passion the key to a fufilling life? What is little about that?

Anyway, I ceased to probe further into why I took up chinese lit and china studies until a week ago. Today, I know the answer.

After secondary school, I found out that I really enjoy reading chinese novels in particular 藤井树. I admire the way he expresses feelings in a simple yet concise manner.Gucheng and Tagore for their poems which are childlike yet bringing wonder. I enjoyed their works and never fail to be awed at their way of thinking. Though I couldn't thoroughly comprehend the poem, I was moved. I wanted to be able to understand better, I wanted to think like them, I wanted to be like them. And that was why I took up Chinese literature.

As for china studies, after I came back from Dabo village in 2007, I really missed the place. Somehow I was emotionally attached to a place I stayed for a week. I realised that I didn't know much about the place, albeit ignorant of a place I love. So I decided to get to know china more. Moreover I was sick of having no opinions on current issues and whatever. How can I claim to love a place and say that I live on earth when I don't know what's happening? I guess I just hate the feeling of being stupid.I still remember how vast the information seemed when I first tried to get to know china. What the.. there were so many things! The country was so happening! So many people, so many problems and so many miracles. Though I'm still lacking, I'm glad I took this route, I got to know my forefathers' home better:)

My biggest take from this two years is that realizing that I lack is the most effective way to change.
In short, I hate being ignorant and worst, not realizing it.

Ya te~!

DSC00832

Hohohoho, I have gotten myself a job! Thank God! I'm so happy!
Today was the first day of work.
Yay~
The first step towards my fabulous youth! HAHA!
This is doing what I want. AND man, this is what I mean by freedom:D
I am a step nearer to my dream.

Thank you God. Thank you:)

and the sun's ray shone through

DSC01360

Cheese tamago! :D

DSC01394

Just like my mood. Sunny!

DSC01365

In the rustling grass I hear Him pass.

I was at a church site in endau when I heard a very familiar sound. It was the sound of grass rustling when the wind blew. It was then that I realised how much I miss that sound. I used to be able to hear it in Dabo village. Suddenly, I felt as though I travelled through time right back to March 2007, standing in front of a huge crop field while preparing to have lunch. Man, how I miss the fields where waves will be produced when the wind blew through the grass... Yun nan, I miss you. I miss you.

:) Something good happened today.

I had a very good time with ghost mama:D Love her lots! I love you!

I wasn't feeling happy yesterday. Perhaps it was due to the gloomy skies, perhaps it was because I lost myself again. Perhaps. Yea but I felt better after I see the sun after the night.